The young moon and Venus, 15 August 2018.

What did I do to deserve this pain and suffering?
All my life, I haven't felt anything near this.

I can barely breathe.

It feels like I'm drowning,
And no one can really save me.
It feels like I'm slowly falling
To a deep, dark hole,
Knowing that no one will catch me.
It feels like I'm only present,
But not alive.

I stare at the ceiling every night,
Trying to reach out to You
And just cry out for help.

I know that everything doesn't seem fair
Since I've been very distant from You for so long.
And I understand if You can't give me
What I think I need.

But please,
Help me heal, God.