Once in a Lifetime


Picture taken by Lulu Nisrina


It has been a really long break from Blogger and I've missed writing so much. I have planned a lot things to be written, as well as a lot of outfits to be pictured, yet I got so little time, even just to check my blog. The uni schedule during these past three months had been really tight. Even until this very moment when I'm typing these.. But if I don't make time in between my busy uni days, then I would never have the 'perfect' time to write.

Let's just begin. But this post is not about anything Spring/Summer related, nor the new lip colour that I'm currently obsessed. It is about a whole different thing from fashion. It is about me being in a fandom. Don't worry, I do not plan to change my blog into a fangirl blog. This post is just going to be a little personal. 

I have written some posts that mention my love for One Direction. And yes, I am talking about that British-Irish boyband. But, Lulu, aren't you 21? Oh, yes, I'm 21. As well as the band members; they are 21 and 23.

As a fan, I would do anything to see them live if they ever made plan to visit my country. Thankfully it happened. It all started on a normal day in April 2014 when I received a newsletter from One Direction that they were going to come to Jakarta. At that time, I was at the campus and I couldn't stop smiling. Luckily, when the email came, I no longer had class for that day. Imagine if I still had one 120-minute session to go and I could no longer concentrate on anything!

The newsletter said that One Direction were planned to come on 25 March 2015. Eleven exciting months were about to begin since that very day. From the day I bought the ticket with my sister, I couldn't stop thinking about the day I would finally see Niall, Harry, Louis, Liam, and Zayn. We bought the standing-pitch tickets.

Long story short, during a month before the show, I started to become anxious. Maybe other girls or boys who watched the show felt the same thing as I did. It was all bout, "Will I make it to the front row?", "Will I going to arrive early enough?", "Will they notice my outfit?", and "If I write them a letter, will they read it?". To most of you, the thoughts might be just odd thoughts of a 21-year-old. But they were not. The funny thing was, I actually thought that they would notice my outfit, so I prepared my best. Still in almost all-black outfit.

But everything's somewhat changed just a week before the show in Jakarta. There was a rumour saying that Zayn would not be joining the other four lads to Manila and Jakarta due to stress. The first time I read the news, the only thing that came to my mind was, "Oh, a hot rumour is about to begin." Then later that day, when I was going out to a mall with my boyfriend, where I was supposed to be happy and all, the official news from the concert promoter came out. The news said that Zayn would not be joining due to stress. I cried. People might say, "Well, at least, there still will be four boys," or, "Oh, that shouldn't be a problem. Zayn's not your favourite, right?" No way, that was never about my favourite or not, for I like One Direction because there were five of them, yet I didn't mean that I admire them less individually.

Even though I was sad, I believe that going home was probably the best option for Zayn when in stress. It was fine if he would soon recover and I might saw him again in another show.

The long-waited day had finally come. My sister and I went to Gelora Bung Karno stadium at 4.20 AM and arrived at 4.40 AM. The sky was still dark yet I'd already seen more than fifty girls sat down in front of the gate which said to be open at 10.00 AM. It was a calm morning and everyone silently waiting. Actually, the crowd wasn't like what I had in my mind. What I really thought was, somebody arrived, came into the line, and sat for hours until the main gate to the stadium opened. But.. the girls I saw were sitting on the ground. Waiting. Some might still asleep.

Hours passed by and the crowds became a lot bigger and people had no idea where they should sat since there were NO queueing line. What I knew from people who watched One Direction's show in Singapore and Bangkok was, they came early in the morning, sat in the queuing area, and who came first got the front row. Please correct me if I'm wrong. But let me remind you that this did not exactly happened in Jakarta. Around 8 o'clock, people started to get panicked and they stood up as if the gate was about to open, whilst it wasn't.

You can imagine if there were no queuing line to control the crowd, people would push each other either from the back, left, and right. If you want to know where were my sister and I at, we were in the middle and almost front of the crowd. We were being sandwiched.

I thought the exciting feeling to finally meet One Direction incomplete members was almost as balanced as the disappointment I got during the queueing process, because being sandwiched wasn't all that bad. What turnt my joy into sadness was, when the gate was finally opened at 9.00 and people started to become hysterical and they started to push people in the front even harder. What's the result? Some girls in front of me fell because everyone started to run when they weren't even able to run, and since those girls were falling in front of me, I, too, fell. So did my sister. And some girls behind me. And what's worse? Most people did not care that there were girls fell on top of each other, screaming for help, and scared that they would be stamped on other people's feet.

 front row. If people weren't too bitchy pushing each other, and if they could patiently waiting for their turn to enter the gate, then I probably still had the chance to stand in the front row. I knew it and that's why I got up and came early in the morning with my sister.

Since people were allowed to enter the stadium at 15.00, which delayed to 16.30, my sister and I still had much time to eat and go to the toilet. And most importantly, we always tried to stay dehydrated by drinking water whenever we felt thirsty.

Before we entered the stadium, we decided to bring one water bottle for each of us to keep us dehydrated. And that was a right decision since a lot of girls fainted due to dehydration even before the show started.

Hours passed by and my sister and I stood still, waiting for One Direction, under the pouring rain, with other thousands of Directioners on the standing pitch. And then the moment I saw Niall Horan on stage, I couldn't help myself to not screaming my heart out and cry. I cried hysterically and I didn't care what other people think of me. The tears just came out naturally and I was shaking. Niall was real. He was there. With Harry, Louis, and Liam. They were only five metres away from me, and five metres felt like far away that night. The night was magical from the moment they appeared and sang Clouds to the moment they closed the show by singing Best Song Ever.

The show lasted for almost two hours and I didn't want to leave the stadium. I still wanted to be in the same place as the four lads. Sadly I had to go home since it was 22.45 and I got classes to attend on the next day. Yet, my sister and I made time to go looking for a fortune at the backstage. Who knew if we were lucky and allowed to go inside the backstage? Andbutso, we weren't lucky.

Time to go home, then. It was about 23.50. My sister and I waited for our dad at the nearest bus stop. Whilst I sat and waited to be picked up, I checked my Instagram feed, just like what I usually did whenever I had nothing to do. And, BANG. On top of my Instagram timeline was Teen Vogue posting a picture of Zayn Malik, with caption, "It's real. #ZaynMalik is officially leaving @onedirection..." and my heart literally broke in pieces. Without thinking too much, I opened One Direction's official site and there it was, the official statement

There was nothing in my mind but, "What on earth am I facing?!" I'd just seen the four lads performed with a thought that Zayn might be resting in London, and just minutes after the show ended, there was a news telling me that Zayn quitted One Direction. How could that happen?

My joy literally turned into misery. I couldn't stop thinking and talking about Zayn with my friend in between classes. Luckily I had her to talk about Zayn and the other heart-breaking One Direction thing.

God, writing this is so emotional. Days after days I couldn't stop thinking about One Direction became a four-piece. I was, sad, angry, upset, broken. I even felt betrayed, just like a lot of Directioners did, after a rumour telling that Zayn had recorded a song with Naughty Boy. But whatever happened, I hope he's happy with his decision and I won't stop supporting One Direction, just like what Liam asked

At least, I still had the chance to watch four of them live on the day no Directioner will ever forget. At least, I got to know One Direction long enough when they were still a complete group of five. At least, they were together, once in a lifetime. 

Once in a lifetime, it's just right. We are always safe. 
Not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all away. 
Somehow, feels like nothing has changed.
Right now my heart is beating the same. 
Out loud someone's calling my name and it sounds like you.
When I close my eyes, all the stars align and you are by my side. 
You are by my side. 
Once in a lifetime, you were mine.

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